My Talks

Talk 1:  ‘Life in the NHS – It Only Hurts When I Laugh’  (60 minutes)

A combination of facts, nostalgia, emotion and humour. The talk is designed to educate and amuse and I have presented it over 130 times over the last three years and I enjoy sharing it immensely.


A number of short video clips about the formation of the NHS, going on to cover some milestone events in healthcare over the last 70 years which your members will have lived through and will prompt memories for many. I relate some of my experiences from working at Director level in a number of hospitals over the last 30 years. There is a lot of humour interspersed throughout the talk including comedy video sketches from Tony Hancock and Ronnie Barker. This is my most popular talk at present which I have presented over 160 times with good reviews from all sorts of groups.



Talk 2: ‘I Used to be a Football Referee but I’m Better Now’ (55 minutes)

Tales from a Sunday morning park football match referee with interactive audience participation.


This covers stories from my time as a football referee on local parks and village greens and is meant to be a direct contrast to the current world of professional football. Aimed primarily at all-male groups this is a very interactive session including the audience voting on football refereeing decisions in video clips.


It is not restricted to football fans as it concentrates on the people aspect as well including a story of the time I refereed a football match in Broadmoor Special Hospital involving a team of eleven convicted insane murderers who didn’t always stick to the Laws of Association Football! Your members' man-management experiences count for nothing in such a situation.


Lots of humour throughout the talk as I include tales from my big selling book ‘Bastard in Black’ which reached number three in the Amazon Top 100 Sports Books in 2014.


Talk 3:  ’Retirement for Beginners’ (55 minutes)


A new talk for 2019 which shares the experiences of preparing for, and actually entering retirement. I am a real authority on the subject having retired seven times now so am obviously very experienced at it. I want to share the wisdom gained over my attempts to stop working so that you don’t make the same mistakes. This talk is not to be taken seriously as it is primarily a light-hearted look at how you can enjoy your retirement better.


My wife says that I have developed this talk just so that I can spend time looking at some of my favourite comedy clips from all time. I know better than to disagree with my wife. So expect contributions from many of the top comedy programmes from the last 60 years such as ‘One Foot in the Grave’ and ‘Fools and Horses’ as well as some original material including ‘My Bucket List of Things NOT to do in Retirement’ as well as a few tips to enjoying your retirement.


A lot of humour in a feel-good session to make everyone relish the thought of retirement even more.



Talk 4: ‘Life in the NHS 2 – this is going to hurt!’ (50 minutes)


Whereas my NHS 1 Talk looked at the formation of the NHS and some of the milestone events over the first 70 years, this talk concentrates more on the NHS of today whilst also trying to look ahead and see what health services might look like in the future. In particular this talk looks at your local hospitals and how they are performing against national targets.


How will technology improve healthcare in the future, will we be telling a robot our symptons or will the family doctor survive the technology revolution. The NHS is one of the most respected and protected aspects of life in the UK and it is struggling to cope with an ever-increasing demand for services with people’s expectations also rising faster then the budget. How will it cope in the future? This talk looks at some of the areas currently under threat, what is being done to protect all the services as well as a speculating on what could happen over the next 70 years.


As you would expect humour is never far from the surface throughout the talk with lots of material from top comedians over the years added to make the session sufficiently light-hearted to get the audience laughing to counter the serious side of a very important subject for us all.





I am available to deliver any of my talks at most times and may be available at short notice. Alternatively I am now taking bookings up to the end of 2021. I charge a fee of £50 which I donate to the Kirkwood Hospice in Huddersfield. I am happy to travel at my own expense within 25 miles of Huddersfield beyond that I look towards a contribution to the cost of petrol.  I bring all my own equipment including data projector and PA system. All I need is a projector screen or clean blank wall and two small tables.


If you are looking for a more light-hearted speaker for a future meeting and are interested in taking this further I am happy to provide any additional information and look forward to hearing from you at your convenience.  Get in touch